the soul mate

these few days i have been looking for a word,
a word that describes someone whom i look forward to seeing everyday,
whom i tell my everyday happenings to, whom i complain to and in turn gives me support, whom never fails to brighten my day, whom i shared good and bad things with, whom i say really stupid things to and don't mind being laughed at, whom i really feel comfortable with..that not being able to communicate with that someone robs me of my everyday joy.

it has already passed the stage which you call a friend, or even a best friend..
it's such a big part of me that ripping the someone forcefully away from me will be excruciating..
the flashbacks, the insecurity returns once again....
reminding me why i never try to build trust in anyone whom i will consider more than a friend..



i managed to find the word..after days of pondering..
but i think i've lost that someone already.. and i don't even know how.


so this is how it feels losing a soul mate.


i don't know what to do :(